The photo above is not of a sunset. I want to make that clear.
Yes, technically speaking, that is the sun slinking down an hour or so ago on its way to hide in shame below the western horizon. But I ask you…do you look at the photo and straightaway think: Wow—look at that breathtaking sunset?
No, of course you don't. And neither did I. I sat on the porch freezing my, uh…well just freezing, camera in hand, waiting for something snazzy—and this is what I got.
Hey, Ol' Sun, I'm perfectly willing to give credit when credit's due. I'll gape and point and ooh and ahh with the best of 'em; I'm always ready to be wowed. But this isn't gettin' it, and I don't see why it's my responsibility to encourage such mediocrity. Dazzle me and I'll take your photo and sing your praises; serve me up stuff like this and I'm going to whine publicly and tell everybody you're slacking.
And while we're at it…what happened to that heat you were supposed to favor us with today? Oh, sure, you finally squeezed out the promised 71 degrees…for about fifteen minutes. But couldn't you manage it between, say, noon and 6:00 p.m.? You were up there shining brightly—just not very warmly. Moreover, did you ever think that 71 measly degrees with a 40-MPH wind produces a chill factor just this side of hypothermic? You expect me to sit out in shorts and a sweatshirt, camera in hand, waiting on you to deliver what turns out to be a lackadaisical performance, with my marrow congealed?
Okay, I've had my say, informed the public and showed them photographic proof. We all have our off days. I'm willing to let bygones be bygones…so long as you amp it up on the sunset colors. And let's cease and desist with the glacial overtones—after all, this is Ohio, not Siberia.