Friday, April 2, 2010

STILL HERE…

Several regular readers have written me via e-mail (plus one to the blog) inquiring as to my well-being, given that I've not posted anything in a week. I'm tempted to say don't look a gift horse in the mouth…except the truth of the matter is that I'm not feeling all that cheeky at the moment.
I've actually written several posts, but for one reason or another decided to not put them up. I do that more often than you might think—write something that never goes beyond a draft, usually because I didn't like the photo, or maybe because I felt I could write it another way, from a different angle, and make it better. Occasionally I just realize some things are better left unsaid.
We've actually had a pretty good week here along the river. Temperatures climbing steadily day after day to the point that yesterday made it into the 80s! And to think, only a week ago we had snow! I puttered around the yard a bit and enjoyed the nice weather all I could—though it wasn't as much as I'd have liked. But then, it never is…
However, not everything has gone as well as the weather, and to be quite honest, I'm rather dispirited. Less the jocular riverbank scribbler than a contemplative—possibly brooding—old incorrigible. I'm working my way through things…facing what I have to face, and trying to accept what I can't change.
I hope you'll forgive this too-long silence. I will post again soon.

20 comments:

madcobug said...

That is a beautiful flower. Sending up prayers that things will be better for you soon. Helen

Bernie said...

Oh Grizz I am sorry you are not feeling very well.....I hope your daughter and her husband makes it home for Easter and you all celebrate this season together.
Please take care of yourself Grizz and come back to blogging when you are able too.
Keeping you in my heart and prayers always.......:-) Hugs

Lynne at Hasty Brook said...

Take care Griz. We'll wait. It's more important that you be well.

Robin said...

Ok. Don't like the sound of this at all. Am sending good thoughts your way....

Gail said...

HI GRIZ-

I am so sorry to hear you are not feeling well. I was thinking about you today and I just thought you and your beloved must be away or enjoying some quiet time on the river. I will hold you very close in prayer and send, as best I can, healing energy and all good thoughts.

Love to you
Gail
peace.....

Bonnie, Original Art Studio said...

I did miss your presence.
This post is somewhat cryptic (even ominous) - but I know you have shared what you feel appropriate. Thanks for the update. Hope this process unfolds smoothly for you and that you feel more spirited soon.

Take care.

Elisabeth said...

This all sounds pretty grim, but at least you're still here. I hope things get better for you - and soon.

Life is like this for most of us I suspect. We have our ups and downs.

It's good you can share the downs as well as the ups. The tendency for some is to hide away when they feel dispirited. It's probably best not to do so, best to let others know. At least then the burden can at least be shared and thereby diminished.

The-Grizzled-But-Still-Incorrigible-Scribe-Himself! said...

Madcobug…

One of the last of my crocus, taken yesterday. Prayers would be most appreciated. Thank you.

The-Grizzled-But-Still-Incorrigible-Scribe-Himself! said...

Bernie…

I'm actually feeling fairly well—it's just that I'm currently in a very dangerous place, medically…plus all the "what ifs" that go along with it. I think I'll be okay, and manage whatever corollary exigencies I must. Your prayers will be appreciated.

Re. Easter plans…haven't head one way or the other from my daughter. I imagine they have plans with their friends. I'll probably do some sort of lamb roast/veggies/salad/bread meal. Afterwards, Myladylove and I might take a walk.

The-Grizzled-But-Still-Incorrigible-Scribe-Himself! said...

Lynne…

Doing my best…which mostly means just seeing where the next couple of weeks takes me. I appreciate your words.

The-Grizzled-But-Still-Incorrigible-Scribe-Himself! said...

Robin…

Me neither…

Good thoughts are appreciated. Thank you.

The-Grizzled-But-Still-Incorrigible-Scribe-Himself! said...

Gail…

My problem is more emotional/mental than physical, in that I'm not, per se, "feeling bad." Your prayers are certainly appreciated.

I do wish Myladylove and I were off somewhere, camped in the wild beyond—but alas, we're stuck here for a bit, which is not, by any measure, a bad place to be stuck. The river is down, clear, lovely. Wildflowers are starting to pop. The birds are singing from dawn 'til dusk. And for the last few days, the dress code has been shorts, flip-flops, and a tee.

The-Grizzled-But-Still-Incorrigible-Scribe-Himself! said...

Bonnie…

I hope each and every reader of this blog knows that I take them seriously and responsibly, in spite of my kidding around. I sincerely appreciate every one who takes their time to read my drivel. That said, it's always good to know you've been missed.

I'm not particularly trying to be cryptic, just reticently honest without whining or sounding pitiful—and I hope none of this comes off that way. I'm just going through a scary, low patch at the moment. I'm not depressed in the clinical sense. Just finding my way along the trail…

Thank you for your comments.

The-Grizzled-But-Still-Incorrigible-Scribe-Himself! said...

Elisabeth…

I agree with you that burdens shared are burdens halved. At least I believe it ought to be this way. But there's a side of my nature that holds back, keeps the negative to myself, thinks the better course is to go it alone. Part of this comes, I expect, from being an only child—yet an only child with the strongest of independent natures. I've always been different, an outsider, never fitting in or wanting to…and perfectly at ease with myself—well knowing all my many faults, weaknesses, lacks, quirks. Yet I do have great a compassion for people, care about them deeply, enjoy crowds and friends, love doing things for others. If I had the money of Bill Gates, my one goal in life would be to die broke; I've never cared about money, except as a means to an end—and that end, for me, has never been any desire for the trappings of wealth. In fact, the older I get, the more I envy the man whose material life can be carried in a knapsack.

So, I'm always on that dichotomy line re. sharing. I hope this makes sense.

Jayne said...

Prayers for restoration and clarity to you my friend. We all go through patches like this I think. Like you, I tend to put the best face forward, as I don't like to whine or complain. There have been times I've thought about quitting the blog all together, but then it feeds such a need for me to connect with others. Just know that all good thoughts are being sent your way by all the lives to touch and joy you add to so many days with your simple words.

giggles said...

Very foreboding, I'd say... I don't even know if that's the right word... The valleys help make the peaks look better and more enjoyable? Thoughts and prayers...and take good care.... (And let ladylove take good care of you too?)

The-Grizzled-But-Still-Incorrigible-Scribe-Himself! said...

Jayne…

I truly do appreciate your nice comments. Thank you so much. I'm a great whiner when it comes to the little things, but seldom say a word about the big, negative stuff. However, there's nothing I'd appreciate more from my friends—and I include those who read this blog and have given me far more pleasure than I've ever, I'm sure, returned—than their thoughts and prayers.

The-Grizzled-But-Still-Incorrigible-Scribe-Himself! said...

Giggles…

Foreboding? I hope not—at least not to fulfillment. I'm generally a positive person with an occasionally downhearted or fearful meander. I don't think any God-fearing man with mortal cognizance and an overriding desire to live with purpose can help this. But I try and make sure such asides are brief and, in the end, strengthening. I want to honor my beliefs.

And, to answer your question…yes, I believe we do need valleys. Without valleys, the peaks have no perspective. If life were all peaks, it would be flat. Most of us live in homes where we can drink a cup of water any time—and that's good. But if you want to really taste water sometime, to know how truly wonderful it is, put yourself in a parched land for 24 hours, or make a day's hike in the dry mountains without a canteen. Then come to a cold spring—where the water bubbles from the earth and pours over stone; water clear and clean and sweet, so cold it hurts your teeth. Take a drink…savor…it is the most delicious drink you'll ever have. Peaks are like that in regards to life…you crawl up from the valley and look around, and because there is/was that valley, the view is rich and sweet and fills your heart and soul.

Oh yes, I want valleys in my life. Absolutely!

Wanda said...

I hope what's on your mind and causing you such concern isn't anything that can't be turned a round. Health issues or the worry of them can cause such stress in our lives. Take care and refresh yourself like a spring rain cleanses.
...Wanda

The-Grizzled-But-Still-Incorrigible-Scribe-Himself! said...

Wanda…

I'm doing my best, I promise. Thank you for your encouraging words.