I've been awake since 4:00 a.m., and up almost that long. It is still dark out; night hangs around longer and longer lately and now, even when I arise at my usual 5:30 time, I still have to wait for the dawn.
Today's high is only supposed to reach the upper-70s. My kind of temperatures! I'm no fan of hot and sweltering summer, although the implication of such cooler days is that of time's eternal and relentless passage…and that does bring a twinge of the bittersweet because as much as I look forward to fall and winter and spring beyond, I know that I'm only allotted so many turns around the great seasonal circle, and each passage ticks one more off my personal list.
Ahh-h, forgive me; I don't mean to be so weighty. Blame it on the clinging darkness and my early rising—and the fact that I'm gong to have to make a certain decision in the next few days which I make reluctantly, even though it is the right and wisest course to follow. One of life's constant truisms is that when faced with multiple choices, the hardest one is most likely to be the path to follow. I've been struggling and worrying about this for several days now. Which probably explains why I couldn't sleep. But I guess I've known for some time what I needed to do, and just had to finally admit it to myself. There's no joy in this, however, and little comfort. But nevertheless, it must be done.
Now it is time to take Moon the dog out for her morning ramble…time to check on the river and spend a few minutes watching the first light bloom in the east. Later on, I hope to visit a local meadow and woods, make a few photos, take a bit of a walk. Try and reconcile my heart and mind. Listen to birds, watch butterflies, inhale the sweet breath of grass and leaves and sun-baked earth.
I can use a good dose of beauty…